so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
