we made out on top of his cat.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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