does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We are two peas in an std pod
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
