Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
