why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
