with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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