Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
