just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
