what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
im six kinds of drunk right now
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize