you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize