turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
