If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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