But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I want to have your abortion
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
