she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
