so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
