The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
