He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
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