She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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