Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
