We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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