you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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