he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize