i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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