She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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