need another drink. this is the easiest way
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
