They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize