I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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