Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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