My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
