Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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