He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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