You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
