drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
