Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
