she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
