you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
