and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize