i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
