hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
