Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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