I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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