Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm jealous of your bromance
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Randomize
