oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
