no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
