drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize