this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
