u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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