Non-Jews are for practice
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
