Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
