they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
