Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
