I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
