When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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