It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize