Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
